fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
