The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Randomize
