Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Randomize
