??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
