Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize