Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
