I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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