Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I checked into jail on foursquare
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
