we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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