see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
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