Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
did you just send me my own nude
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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