Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
