so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
