we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
