i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
