is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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