i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
