Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
