The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
