I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
