so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
either way he was missing a nipple.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Let's get the cat blown out
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
