why im i the only drunk person in the library?
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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