Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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