just tell him i said nine months
People in love make me want to vomit
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
