He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
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