We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
