i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize
