i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
