Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
