Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
