She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I wish you could order shots online.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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