he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
