marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
you would pick up someone in the library
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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