anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
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