my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
