I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
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