She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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