fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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