I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
