Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
