There was a lot of him and a little penis
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
This is the high leading the old right now
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
