But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I love black thongs
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
