He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
