i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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