Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize
