Pappa wants mamma naked
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
