Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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