looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
