Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
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