Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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