I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
