i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
