just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
