His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
