but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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