Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
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